Executive Summary:
Success in financial advising hinges on trust and personal connections. Many financial advisors, however, approach networking as a transactional task rather than a relational art. Jack Schafer’s Friendship Formula—centered on proximity, frequency, duration, and intensity—provides a science-backed framework for forming meaningful relationships, offering financial advisors a strategic way to transform interactions into enduring connections.
Key Components of the Friendship Formula:
Proximity: Strategically position yourself where your ideal clients and strategic partners naturally spend time. This includes attending targeted events, engaging in online forums, and participating in community activities. Proximity fosters visibility and lays the groundwork for rapport.
Frequency: Maintain consistent touchpoints with prospects, clients, and partners. Frequent, meaningful interactions—such as follow-ups, newsletters, and social media engagement—keep you top-of-mind and build familiarity over time.
Duration: Deepen relationships by dedicating quality time to conversations. Whether through one-on-one meetings or collaborative efforts, investing in meaningful dialogue builds trust and demonstrates your expertise.
Intensity: Elevate connections by creating emotionally impactful and memorable experiences. Thoughtful gestures, empathetic listening, and personalized interactions strengthen trust and loyalty.
Practical Applications for Financial Advisors:
Niche Focus: Tailor your networking to specific audiences, like small business owners or retirees, to establish yourself as an expert in their unique financial needs.
Value-Driven Networking: Offer resources, advice, and introductions without expecting immediate returns. This approach fosters goodwill and leads to organic referrals.
Event Hosting: Position yourself as a trusted authority by organizing workshops or webinars that provide valuable financial insights.
Consistent Follow-Through: Use CRM tools to document interactions, set reminders, and ensure no opportunity slips through the cracks.
Networking for financial advisors is an ongoing process that requires patience, consistency, and a commitment to building authentic relationships. By applying the principles of the Friendship Formula, advisors can create a network that drives business growth while enriching professional and personal connections. This approach shifts the focus from transactions to relationships, ensuring a more sustainable and fulfilling path to success.
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The Friendship Formula Applied to Networking for Financial Advisors
Building and maintaining strong relationships is the cornerstone of success for financial advisors. In an industry built on trust and personal connections, the ability to establish rapport with prospects, deepen relationships with existing clients, and foster partnerships with strategic partners is essential for growth. Yet, many financial advisors approach networking with uncertainty—treating it as a transactional task rather than a relational art.
Enter Jack Schafer’s Friendship Formula, a science-backed approach to forming meaningful connections. Originally designed to understand and cultivate personal friendships, this formula identifies four key elements—proximity, frequency, duration, and intensity—as the building blocks of trust and rapport. By adapting these principles to the world of financial advising, professionals can elevate their networking strategies from surface-level interactions to powerful, lasting relationships.
The Friendship Formula shifts the perspective on networking. It’s not about handing out business cards or delivering a perfect elevator pitch. It’s about being present where it matters, creating consistent touchpoints, investing time in genuine conversations, and making interactions memorable. For financial advisors, this means transforming casual encounters into loyal clients, strategic partners and trusted referral sources by focusing on relationships rather than transactions.
This article will explore how each element of the Friendship Formula applies to the specific challenges and opportunities faced by financial advisors. From attending the right events to crafting impactful follow-ups, we’ll dive into actionable strategies to help advisors build a network that drives both personal and professional success. Let’s get started by breaking down the formula step-by-step.
1. Proximity: Be Where Your Ideal Clients Are
Proximity is about more than just physical closeness—it’s about strategically positioning yourself where your ideal clients, prospects, and Strategic Partners naturally spend their time. The key to effective networking is being present in the right spaces, whether that’s in person, online, or a mix of both. Financial advisors who thoughtfully consider where to invest their time and energy will maximize opportunities to build rapport with the right people.
Hang Out Where Your Ideal Clients Hang Out
To be effective, you need to identify where your target audience congregates. Think beyond the obvious and look for places where meaningful, organic connections can happen. For instance, if you’re targeting small business owners, join your local chamber of commerce, attend entrepreneurial workshops, or sponsor a small business seminar. If your niche is high-net-worth individuals or retirees, frequent country clubs, attend community events, or volunteer at organizations that cater to their interests.
Proximity isn’t just about formal events, either—it’s about being present in informal settings where trust and familiarity can naturally develop. This might include attending charity fundraisers, social gatherings, or even taking part in hobby-based groups that your ideal clients frequent, like wine-tasting clubs, golf leagues or learning pickleball (fastest growing sport in the world).
Real-Life Example: Becoming a Known Presence
Imagine you specialize in retirement planning. Instead of waiting for prospects to come to you, proactively insert yourself into their world. You could:
Attend seminars at community centers: Offer free workshops on Social Security, estate planning, or retirement readiness.
Sponsor a local event targeting retirees: A community health fair or senior expo offers a prime opportunity to meet people who may benefit from your services.
Join online forums or groups: Engage in discussions on platforms like LinkedIn or Facebook about retirement strategies. Sharing advice and resources in these spaces positions you as a helpful expert.
Each of these touchpoints increases your visibility, making you a familiar and trusted figure within your target audience.
Proximity with Strategic Partners
Don’t forget to cultivate proximity with potential referral sources, such as accountants, lawyers, and other complementary professionals. Attend networking mixers tailored to professionals, offer to co-host events with them, or join local organizations that facilitate introductions between complementary industries. Building a network of strategic partners can provide a steady stream of referrals from people who already serve your ideal clients.
Pro Tip: Make Proximity Strategic and Consistent
Map Out Key Locations: Identify where your target audience spends time. For example, retirees might frequent golf clubs, libraries, or community centers, while small business owners may gather at coworking spaces or entrepreneurial seminars.
Diversify Your Presence: Balance your time between formal events (like conferences or workshops) and informal settings (like hobby groups or charity events).
Engage Consistently: Proximity is most effective when it’s repeated. Make a habit of attending the same events, frequenting the same locations, and participating in ongoing discussions. Familiarity breeds trust.
By strategically placing yourself where your ideal clients and referral partners naturally congregate, you not only increase your visibility but also position yourself as an approachable expert. Proximity is the first step in turning casual encounters into lasting, profitable relationships.
In the next section, we’ll explore how frequency strengthens these connections over time.
2. Frequency: Build Consistent Visibility
Frequency is the glue that holds networking efforts together. While proximity gets you in front of your ideal clients and referral sources, frequency ensures they don’t forget you. Maintaining consistent touchpoints builds trust and familiarity over time, transforming one-time interactions into long-term relationships.
For financial advisors, frequency can take many forms, from thoughtful follow-ups to ongoing engagement through newsletters, social media, and in-person meetings.
Make Frequency Meaningful
Regular interactions should always add value. Simply showing up or sending generic messages won’t foster strong relationships. Instead, tailor your communication to the interests and needs of your audience. For example:
Clients and Prospects: Provide insights into financial trends, personalized advice, or reminders about upcoming deadlines like tax season or contribution limits.
Strategic Partners: Share resources that can help their business, such as industry updates, networking opportunities, or client introductions.
By aligning your touchpoints with their goals, you position yourself as someone who genuinely cares about their success—not just as someone looking to sell a service.
Real-Life Example: Turning a Meeting Into a Relationship
Imagine you meet a small business owner at a networking event. Here’s how frequency can strengthen the connection:
Immediate Follow-Up: Send a LinkedIn connection request within 24-48 hours, along with a personalized message like, “I enjoyed our conversation about small business tax strategies at the Chamber of Commerce meeting. Let’s stay in touch!”
First Value Touchpoint: A week later, email them an article or tip related to a pain point they mentioned, such as managing cash flow or preparing for tax season.
Recurring Engagement: Two weeks later, comment on one of their LinkedIn posts or send a quick note about a relevant industry update.
Invite to Connect Further: After a month, suggest grabbing coffee or having a quick call to learn more about their business and explore ways to collaborate.
This steady cadence keeps you top-of-mind without overwhelming them.
Digital Tools to Boost Frequency
Frequency doesn’t always require personal, one-on-one communication. Digital tools can help you scale your visibility while maintaining a personal touch:
Email Newsletters: Create a monthly or quarterly newsletter with actionable financial tips tailored to your audience. For example:
“3 Ways to Maximize Your 401(k) Contributions Before Year-End”
“How Small Business Owners Can Save Big on Taxes”
“Navigating Volatility: Strategies for Protecting Your Investments”
Include a call-to-action (CTA) for readers to reach out with questions or schedule a consultation.
Social Media Presence: Post consistently on LinkedIn or other platforms where your clients and referral sources are active. Share educational content, celebrate client successes (with permission), and engage with your audience through comments and direct messages.
Automated Reminders: Use CRM software to set reminders for personalized follow-ups. This ensures you never miss an opportunity to reconnect.
Pro Tip: Keep It Balanced
While frequency is essential, avoid being overbearing. You want to stay visible without coming across as intrusive. A good rule of thumb is to touch base every 2-4 weeks with valuable content, insights, or updates that align with their needs. Consistency is more important than frequency—sporadic bursts of communication can feel disorganized, while regular, thoughtful outreach builds trust.
Frequency With Strategic Partners
Strategic partners, like accountants or mortgage brokers, also benefit from frequent engagement. Consider these strategies:
Invite them to co-host workshops or webinars to share expertise with mutual audiences.
Send occasional updates about how you’ve helped shared clients, demonstrating your value as a partner.
Refer clients to them when appropriate, reinforcing the reciprocity of the relationship.
Building Long-Term Visibility
Frequency ensures that your ideal clients and partners see you not as a one-time interaction but as a consistent, reliable presence in their lives. By adding value with each touchpoint, you position yourself as their go-to financial expert. As these connections strengthen, they become more likely to trust you with their needs—or refer you to others in their network.
Next, we’ll explore how duration deepens relationships and takes these frequent touchpoints to the next level.
3. Duration: Build Relationships Through Deeper Conversations
While proximity and frequency establish visibility and familiarity, duration is what turns casual connections into meaningful relationships. Spending quality time with prospects, clients, and strategic partners allows you to understand their unique needs, challenges, and goals. It’s during these deeper conversations that trust is built and loyalty begins to form.
For financial advisors, this means moving beyond surface-level exchanges and investing in interactions that provide genuine value. Whether it’s a coffee meeting, a phone call, or a one-on-one session, these moments solidify your position as a trusted financial expert.
Why Duration Matters
In a world of fleeting interactions, dedicating time to a meaningful conversation sets you apart. It shows that you value the other person beyond the potential business they might bring. Longer conversations also give you the opportunity to showcase your expertise in a way that resonates on a personal level.
For prospects, this means understanding their financial goals and demonstrating how you can help them achieve those goals.
For strategic partners, this involves learning about their business and identifying ways to collaborate or provide mutual value.
Real-Life Example: Turning a Brief Chat Into a Trusted Relationship
At a networking event, instead of sticking to the usual elevator pitch, ask open-ended questions that encourage the other person to share their story. For instance:
“What’s one financial goal you’re most excited about this year?”
“What’s a challenge your business is facing right now?”
“What inspired you to start your business, and what’s your vision for the future?”
Actively listen to their responses and respond with empathy and insight. Share a brief anecdote about how you’ve helped someone in a similar situation. For example: "I recently worked with a small business owner who felt overwhelmed by managing cash flow while saving for retirement. We developed a strategy that balanced their short-term needs with long-term goals, and they’ve seen great results. I’d love to hear more about your situation over coffee—when are you free?”
This follow-up invitation signals your willingness to invest time in understanding their unique needs.
Strategies for Extending Duration
Schedule Dedicated Time: Suggest coffee chats, Zoom calls, or even a lunch meeting to delve deeper into their goals or challenges. Keep the tone informal.
Create Structured Conversations: Use an introductory call approach with an emphasis on “fit”—a short, exploratory conversation (15-20 minutes) to introduce your approach that helps determine whether your services align with their needs. This allows you to gather information and build rapport without coming across as sales-focused.
Engage in Joint Activities: For strategic partners, collaborate on a project, co-host a workshop, or attend an event together. Shared experiences strengthen the relationship.
Deepening Relationships Over Time
Duration isn’t limited to one-time meetings. Consider how to extend the relationship through ongoing meaningful interactions:
For Prospects: After an initial conversation, follow up with an invitation for further discussions to deepen the relationship.
For Clients: Use annual reviews, quarterly check-ins, regular phone calls and milestone celebrations (e.g., when they reach a savings goal) as opportunities for deeper conversations.
For Strategic Partners: Schedule periodic catch-ups to share updates about your businesses and deeper understanding of theirs, and explore new opportunities to collaborate.
Pro Tip: Prioritize Listening Over Selling
The most impactful conversations are those where the other person feels heard and understood. Ask thoughtful questions, take notes, and avoid dominating the discussion with your own agenda. Your genuine interest will make a lasting impression and help you uncover ways to provide value.
The Role of Duration in Trust Building
The time you spend in meaningful conversations signals your commitment to the relationship. It’s during these longer interactions that you demonstrate your expertise, empathy, and reliability—key factors in earning someone’s trust. Whether it’s a prospect exploring their financial future or a strategic partner seeking a reliable collaborator, the time you invest in these relationships will pay dividends in loyalty and mutual growth.
Next, we’ll discuss how intensity takes these relationships to an even higher level by creating memorable and impactful experiences.
4. Intensity: Make Every Interaction Memorable
While proximity, frequency, and duration set the foundation for relationships, intensity adds the emotional depth that makes them truly impactful. In networking and relationship-building, intensity isn’t about being overwhelming or flashy—it’s about creating moments of genuine connection that leave a lasting impression.
For financial advisors, this means demonstrating empathy, understanding, and care in ways that go beyond the transactional, turning interactions into meaningful experiences.
What Intensity Looks Like for Financial Advisors
Intensity is about engaging on a deeper level, addressing not only financial needs but also emotional concerns, personal goals, and life aspirations. When clients or prospects feel understood, they are more likely to trust you and see you as a partner in their success.
For example:
When a prospect voices concerns about funding their child’s education, listen actively. Acknowledge the emotional weight of their worry before offering a meeting or solutions.
When a small business owner struggles with balancing growth and retirement planning, validate their stress and suggest an introductory call to define your process.
By engaging in a way that connects emotionally, you elevate the conversation from “advisor and client” to “trusted partner and ally.”
Real-Life Example: Turning Empathy Into Impact
A prospect tells you they’re overwhelmed about saving for retirement while supporting aging parents. Instead of jumping into numbers, products or solutions, you could say:
"I completely understand how challenging that can be. You’re juggling a lot of responsibilities, and it’s normal to feel this way. It might be appropriate for us to work together. This is an issue I deal with frequently. We should organize a time that I can outline my process to help us determine if there is a FIT from both our perspectives.”
This approach validates their feelings, builds rapport, and demonstrates your expertise in a non-intimidating way. It also demonstrates your organization and professionalism.
Strategies to Build Intensity in Your Interactions
Listen Beyond Words: Pay attention not just to what clients and prospects say but how they say it. Body language, tone, and emotion often reveal deeper concerns. Respond with empathy and address those unspoken needs.
Personalize Every Interaction: Tailor your advice, follow-ups, and gestures to the individual. Avoid generic responses—specific, thoughtful actions show that you truly understand and care.
Share Stories and Analogies: People connect with stories more than data. Share relatable anecdotes about how you’ve helped clients in similar situations or use analogies to make complex financial concepts easier to understand.
Adding Intensity With Thoughtful Gestures
Small, meaningful gestures can make your interactions memorable and reinforce emotional connections. Examples include:
Milestone Celebrations: Send a handwritten note or a small gift to celebrate a client’s retirement, a child’s graduation, or a business achievement.
Personalized Touchpoints: If a client mentions they love a particular author, send them a copy of the latest book by that author with a note saying, “This reminded me of our conversation!”
Check-Ins During Tough Times: If a client or prospect shares a personal struggle, follow up later with a supportive message or resource that might help.
These gestures show that you’re paying attention and genuinely invested in their lives, not just their finances.
Intensity With Strategic Partners
Intensity isn’t just for clients—it applies to your relationships with strategic partners as well. To create memorable interactions with referral sources:
Help them solve a problem. For instance, connect them with someone in your network who can address a challenge they’re facing.
Showcase their expertise. Mention them in your newsletter or refer clients to their services.
Surprise them with appreciation. Send a thank-you note or a small gift after a successful referral, acknowledging the value of your partnership.
Pro Tip: Show Gratitude and Follow Through
A surefire way to create memorable interactions is by showing gratitude and delivering on your promises. After a meeting or conversation, send a follow-up email thanking them for their time and summarizing key takeaways. If you promised to provide additional information or resources, follow through promptly.
For example:" Thank you for sharing your concerns about saving for your child’s education during our conversation today. I’ve attached a resource that explains 529 plans in more detail, and I’d be happy to schedule a follow-up call to answer any questions. Let me know what works best for you!"
Consistency in showing gratitude and follow-through reinforces trust and ensures that your interactions stand out.
Making Intensity a Habit
Intensity doesn’t have to be limited to big moments or grand gestures. It’s the cumulative effect of small, thoughtful actions that builds emotional depth and loyalty over time. By focusing on empathy, personalization, and follow-through in every interaction, you can create meaningful connections that stand out in a crowded industry.
In the next section, we’ll bring together the elements of proximity, frequency, duration, and intensity into a cohesive strategy to maximize your networking success as a financial advisor.
The Friendship Formula in Action for Financial Advisors
The Friendship Formula—proximity, frequency, duration, and intensity—offers a science-backed framework for transforming casual interactions into meaningful, lasting relationships. For financial advisors, applying these principles effectively requires a strategic approach. Here’s how to integrate each element into a cohesive networking strategy that builds trust and fuels growth.
Putting the Formula to Work
Proximity: Be Where Your Ideal Clients and Partners Are
Attend targeted events such as local business mixers, trade shows, and community fundraisers that attract your desired audience.
Host educational workshops or webinars on topics like retirement planning, tax strategies, or financial goal-setting to draw in prospects and establish yourself as an authority.
Engage in online spaces where your audience gathers, such as LinkedIn groups, forums, or niche professional communities. Share insights and participate in discussions to build visibility.
Frequency: Maintain Regular Touchpoints
Follow up within 24-48 hours of meeting someone with a personalized email or LinkedIn message. This shows genuine interest and helps solidify the connection.
Stay top-of-mind through periodic updates, such as a monthly newsletter, industry insights, or sharing a relevant article that aligns with their interests.
Use a CRM system to track interactions and set reminders for consistent follow-ups. Aim to reconnect every 2-4 weeks to nurture the relationship naturally.
Duration: Deepen Relationships Over Time
Schedule one-on-one coffee chats, virtual calls, or lunch meetings to explore their financial needs or goals in more detail. Avoid rushing these conversations; take the time to understand their story.
Build trust by providing personalized advice or insights during these meetings, demonstrating your expertise without pushing a sales agenda.
For strategic partners, plan collaborative efforts, such as co-hosting events or working together on client-focused initiatives, to strengthen your professional bond.
Intensity: Make Every Interaction Memorable
Listen empathetically to their concerns and validate their challenges before offering solutions. This emotional depth creates a stronger connection.
Celebrate milestones, whether it’s a personal achievement or a business success. A handwritten note, thoughtful email, or small gift can leave a lasting impression.
Show gratitude consistently, whether it’s thanking a client for their trust or acknowledging a referral partner’s support.
Practical Networking Tips for Financial Advisors
Leverage Your Niche: Focus on a specific audience—like physicians, small business owners, or retirees. Tailoring your efforts to their unique challenges helps you stand out as an expert in their financial needs.
Be a Giver, Not a Taker: Offer value without expecting immediate returns. Introduce contacts to others in your network, share resources, or provide advice freely. This generosity builds goodwill and often leads to organic referrals.
Host Your Own Events: Create opportunities to showcase your expertise by hosting “Lunch and Learn” sessions, webinars, or community workshops. These platforms position you as a trusted resource and attract qualified prospects.
Track Your Efforts: Use tools like a CRM to document your interactions, set follow-up reminders, and ensure no potential client or referral partner falls through the cracks.
Closing Thoughts: Building Relationships, Not Transactions
Networking for financial advisors is not a one-time event—it’s an ongoing commitment to building relationships based on trust, understanding, and mutual benefit. By applying the principles of proximity, frequency, duration, and intensity, you can create a network that not only supports your business but also enriches your professional and personal life.
The journey requires patience and consistency. Effective networking isn’t about quick wins; it’s about cultivating genuine connections that turn prospects into loyal clients, colleagues into strategic partners, and everyday interactions into meaningful opportunities. Remember, the investment of time and effort into building these relationships will yield dividends far greater than any single transaction.
With this framework in mind, you’re equipped to approach networking with confidence and purpose, knowing that every interaction has the potential to make a lasting impact.